Two days ago, we were playing with some kids in the park. Basketball, soccer, and volleyball were all on the table and everyone was having a blast. After playing with the kids for a few minutes, I stopped to catch my breath. I looked behind me and saw a group of five to ten older men sitting and standing around a table in the park. They were all looking down at the table intently. I got curious and walked over to see what was holding their attention. I walked over and saw a chessboard sitting in the center. The game had to have been quite excellent, because the positions I saw on the board were like nothing I had ever seen outside of a tournament setting.
The men around the table barely noticed that I had walked up and continued to stare at the board. Then, all of a sudden, there was a string of quick succinct moves from the two masters pulling the strings of this epic battle. Pieces flew on the board for a full minute while both players executed their plans with confident precision. Then, nothing. All at once, everything stopped. The two men playing looked down at the outcome of their hard pressed battle. They looked up for the first time in a good five to ten minutes, then, they started laughing. They grabbed each other’s hands and shook them vigorously, smiling for days. The six or so onlookers congratulated the victor and gave their advice to both players, speaking rapid Albanian that I failed to follow.
After this, another chess board was produced. A new set of players went to play on this new board, and another player challenged the previous victor on his board.
All in all, it took me 15 minutes to watch this interaction, and if you can’t tell, I LOVE chess. However, my main takeaway from this experience had absolutely nothing to do with the strategies or theories utilized by either player but rather everything to do with the attitudes of the onlookers and the players themselves.
In full transparency, I love to debate. These debates span into everything from government policy to Theology. Sometimes these debates, though, are more about me than even the debate itself, much less the person I am debating with.
In Barcelona, Spain, about a month ago, right at the beginning of our trip, we had a few hours to kill before our bus came to take us to Leon to start the Camino. While we were there a couple of people from our team had a conversation with a woman we met in a Starbucks just outside of the Sagrada Familia. She claimed to be a believer of Christ and we had a good one to two and a half hour conversation with her about beliefs, religion, and Christianity. I jumped into this conversation about halfway through, I had joined right when they were talking about deep theological things like the purpose of evil and if the Bible was just an allegory or a real manuscript. Something I realized after we had finished talking with her was that the entire time I had been in the conversation, my mind had been in ‘debate mode’. I had been thinking four to five arguments down the road and developing response after response. As I am reflecting/realizing this, one of our amazing Squad Leaders, comes up to me and says, “I have some feedback about how you handled the conversation earlier.” I tell her I’d love to hear it and she says to me, “Tanner, I think you were debating only for the debate.” It was a hard thing to hear, but it was true. I had cared more about what I was saying than how it was being received by the woman I was speaking to.
So here is my takeaway from both of these interactions: your attitude and actions speak louder than any words you speak.
Those old men playing chess in the park loved chess, but they clearly loved each other more than the game. The same can be said for the onlookers. It has convicted me of how I react or respond to people and I don’t look at debate the same way anymore. It was never about me or the words I say, but about how God wants to use me to impact others.
YOU are not the main character of the story the Lord is writing. It’s hard to hear, but true nonetheless. Our purpose is to Glorify God through everything we do and say nothing more, but certainly nothing less.
It is about the person, more than the activity, more than being right. Your opinions and achievements will DIE but how you treat people will echo through the rest of eternity.
Yes, I stole a quote straight out of Russel Crowe’s Gladiator, but nonetheless this statement is true. Christianity is not a self-help religion and the Bible is not a self-help book, nor is it a guide to a perfect life. Jesus didn’t look at Simon Peter standing in his dad’s boat and say, “Come with me and I’ll show you how to be a better person!” NO, Jesus said to Simon, “Come and follow me, and I will make you a fisher of men.” That was our promise.
How dare I weaponize the Bible as a way to feel better abut myself. How dare I debate for recognition and accolades. How dare I abuse these good gifts I have been given!
Eli, Eli, Selach li!
(My God, my God, forgive me!)
But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
-Matthew 22:34-40
Leave a Reply